Rant about modified Honda owners.

"jkm7680" (jkm7680) 05/14/2015 at 16:19 • Filed to: None

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First off, I am not trying to directly offend anybody here. Please do not take offense.

There are tons, and by that I mean literal tons of modified Hondas in my area. Every block or so, you’ll see one driving down the street or parked.

1. You are driving a Honda Civic, not a Lamborghini.

I hate to break it to those who choose to modify base model Civics. But YOU ARE DRIVING AN ECONOMY CAR. You are not driving a race car, a Ferrari or a spaceship. Whether it be a shitty loud fart can, a wing, cheap wheels, blinding HID lights or all of the above, you still aren’t making your car any cooler or faster. All you’re achieving by doing that is looking like a complete tool driving something that sounds like a giant lawn mower. Also, hanging a stuffed animal from your bumper mounted JC Whitney towhook is stupid. Please understand that you just look like a colossal idiot to everybody else.

2. 90% of modified Hondas that I see are being driven by complete tools who drive like complete tools.

Every single time I encounter a modified Civic, it’s being driven by a complete idiot. Grinding gears on purpose*, never using blinkers, accelerating in rapid bursts, aggressively overtaking other cars, tailgating, revving the engine at every single stoplight and attempting to dump the clutch every other second. You drive a 105hp shitbox with an empty can of Folgers strapped to the back of it. Nobody thinks you’re cool. A stock Civic being driven like a decent human being would drive is a perfectly respectable car. The second that the childlike driver begins to think that his Civic is fast is the same second that the Civic stops being a respectable car.

Here’s a story for you: Yesterday, while sitting at a light a shitty Civic coupe with a fart can went flying past me at about 55 mph. Right across the street from an elementary school where the speed limit was 15.

Here’s another story for you: A 90’s Tercel and a Civic were racing out of a busy intersection and one of them took the turn to quick. In the process, ripping off his homemade front splitter completely. Yeah, I totally laughed.

Here’s another story for you: Some dipshit in an old Civic sedan, with a fartcan was tailgating me on a pretty quiet residential street. He appeared to be putting the car in neutral and revving it every other second. I made sure to take my time, and enjoy a leisurely cruise at 15 miles an hour.

*Yes, you read that right.

3. Stanced modified Honda drivers on a budget are complete idiots.

I was talking to the owner of a stanced Civic last week. The owner just bought new wheels for it and the tires were already worn down to threads on the inside of the tire. There were several golf ball sized sidewall bubbles and the alignment was very very far off. The owner simply claimed that “Oh, it’s ok.”

4. Vtec still does not mean fast.........

Contrary to popular belief........

Not all modified Civic owners are bad! But I probably will never own a Civic.

uofime > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:26

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There are few things more obnoxious than someone who is desperate for attention.

jkm7680 > uofime 05/14/2015 at 16:27

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Bwahahaha

EL_ULY > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:28

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dis gon be good :]

Dr_Watson > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:30

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is this a re-post from 2001?

jkm7680 > Dr_Watson 05/14/2015 at 16:30

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Noooo

TheOnelectronic > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:31

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Now imagine those cars 15 years from now, on their third owner since the mods were made, and you have the Santa Fe “tuner” community.

Never-painted or wrong-color bumpers that don’t fit and flap in the wind

bubbling purple tint film

All the paint is faded and worn

different wheels on each corner

Oh, and don’t forget “MARQUEZ” or other family name across the back window in gothic script.

jkm7680 > TheOnelectronic 05/14/2015 at 16:33

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Don’t even remind me of those vinyl stickers. Goodness gracious.

I saw a new Corolla a few weeks ago with this guys entire name plastered to the back of it.

“YES HELLO POLICE, FIRSTNAME LASTNAME JUST ROBBED ME.” I KNOW HIS NAME BECAUSE IT SAYS SO ON THE BACK OF IT.

Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:35

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GOT EEM!

U just mad the mah K20A iz tha best performance engine of the 21st century.

extraspecialbitter > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:37

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You know what’s even funnier? When they try to sell their shit-buckets for $5000 more than KBB.

MorePushrodsPlease > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:38

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UMM SIR! PERHAPS YOU NEGLECTED TO AUDIBLY DETECT THINE VTEC AS IT POPPETH’D OFF HENCE PRODUCING COPIOUS AMOUNTS EQUESTRIAN ENERGY!! GOOD DAY SIR!

jkm7680 > extraspecialbitter 05/14/2015 at 16:39

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“maAADddd vTTTakk vertfast engine.”

GhostZ > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:39

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Funny thing is, there was a time when the civic was shockingly fast for what it is, and it had a lot of race car tech (monocoque chassis, variable valve timing, short throw shifters, 4 wheel independent suspension) especially in the Type R model (which were just as extensive in their modifications as BMW M at the time) well before everyone else. For its price, it was a legitimately fast, serious car in the right hands.

I mean, in the late 90s the mustang was making about 250HP max (or less?) and the civic could be had around 180, but it weighed almost half that of the mustang, got better MPG, was faster around a corner.

And a turbo S2000/Civic/Integra is still one of the best cheap HP builds out there, though it’s no Turbo LS motor obviously.

But that sort of ended by the early 2000s and has since just become another fat bloated economy car.

Shankems > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:41

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My heart agrees with you. I despise modified civics and am only surprised when I see one that hasn’t been “modified.” But somewhere in my rational mind, I imagine a billionaire in the back of his RR just looking out the window and frowning at all of the dirty plebeian masses that surround him. Thinking the same thing of us.

jariten1781 > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:41

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I never see modified civics anymore unless I go to shitty areas of town. I don’t think those are the folks who modified them either, rather people who stole them or picked them up from a shitty lot / crackhead pre modded. In the rest of the world they’ve mostly died or are with people who care for them/don’t act like assholes.

RockThrillz89 > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:43

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Re: #4

I’m still trying to figure out what Vtec does. All I can figure out is when it “kicks in, yo”, a little red light turns on on my dash just above the shift indicator. Maybe they have gotten really good at smoothing the power delivery, but my Civic seems to pull just as well at 3k as it does over 5k with the red light on.

MonkeePuzzle > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:44

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MonkeePuzzle > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:46

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MonkeePuzzle > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:47

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MonkeePuzzle > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:47

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jkm7680 > MonkeePuzzle 05/14/2015 at 16:48

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R.I.P Kinja.

MonkeePuzzle > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:48

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rerererepost. I guess if you post a couple dozen gifs in a minute kinja chokes (you know, like a honda driver at a drag strip)

Hot Takes Salesman > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:48

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Where’s TheHondaBro...

MonkeePuzzle > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:49

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youuuu willll looooooove modified hondaaaaaaaas

MonkeePuzzle > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:50

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oh... OOHHHHH nevermind. your issue is modified honda OWNERS, not modified hondas....

<— modified honda owner

jkm7680 > MonkeePuzzle 05/14/2015 at 16:50

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No, my apologies. But I will never like modified Hondas.

jkm7680 > MonkeePuzzle 05/14/2015 at 16:51

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Well, modified Honda in general.

MonkeePuzzle > RockThrillz89 05/14/2015 at 16:52

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what civic do you have? honda used vtec in the passed in two ways, either a high engagement to give power a the top end, or a low engagement in some more economy focused ones to ensure better gas mileage. since you have a shift indicator, I’m guessing its the latter

and... there is a possibility your light is coming on, but vtec is not engaging.

MonkeePuzzle > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 16:53

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jsut keep staring.... you will

jkm7680 > MonkeePuzzle 05/14/2015 at 16:54

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Never

MonkeePuzzle > Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed 05/14/2015 at 16:59

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uuuuuh, f20c fool!

RockThrillz89 > MonkeePuzzle 05/14/2015 at 17:00

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It’s a brand new Si. I was really being more sarcastic than anything, since jkm said “ Vtec still does not mean fast”. I was just saying “right, it just means a red light on the dash”. I think the current models has Vtec engage at over 5k rpm, and I’ve not really dogged it to hell because it’s not even had an oil change, so it’s not like I’ve actually tried to see a difference after it engages. I know with my older ‘09 Civic (non-Si), you could tell when it actually was working because it would pull harder.

Short-throw Granny Shifter is 2 #blessed 2b stressed > MonkeePuzzle 05/14/2015 at 17:01

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2 poor 4 RWD. FML

HotelCoralEssex > MonkeePuzzle 05/14/2015 at 17:05

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Those modifications were clearly done for appearance AND performance.

MonkeePuzzle > HotelCoralEssex 05/14/2015 at 17:08

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and like a huge wing on a civic, they’ll look worse and worse as time goes by

MonkeePuzzle > RockThrillz89 05/14/2015 at 17:09

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i-vtec yo, engagement is so... lacking in theatre these days

nermal > MonkeePuzzle 05/14/2015 at 17:17

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MonkeePuzzle > nermal 05/14/2015 at 17:19

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meh, that’s just becasue she’s a landy enthusiast :D

(which I well respect about my queen)

TheHondaBro > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 17:37

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That’s it. We’re no longer pen-pals.

jkm7680 > TheHondaBro 05/14/2015 at 17:43

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Ugh, fine Brittany. Just don't make me tell the world about our secret.

NJAnon > jkm7680 05/14/2015 at 21:10

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But jkm, those bad honda drivers don’t care. Thats why they drive bad and modify improperly.

wiffleballtony > jkm7680 05/15/2015 at 00:53

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Either they’ve all died out where I live now or those same people just buy bro trucks. Same driving etiquette.

Pabuuu, JDM car enthusiast & Italian parts hoarder > jkm7680 05/16/2015 at 10:48

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Civics attract those people because who doesn’t want a cheap car that looks decent, feels fast, is fun to drive and has a huge community and aftermarket?

Most people you described do this on a tight budget, so there is little money left for the car as a hobby. These people are enthusiasts too, so they want to modify their car. When you don’t have much money you are going to try some ghetto cheap options and think to yourself ‘’eh, close enough’’. And who doesn’t feel boss in their own car? espescially when you modified it yourself. I know I would. Can’t blame ‘em .

jkm7680 > Pabuuu, JDM car enthusiast & Italian parts hoarder 05/16/2015 at 15:53

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Yeah, but driving like a drunk asshole is not a good idea.

Pabuuu, JDM car enthusiast & Italian parts hoarder > jkm7680 05/16/2015 at 19:38

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It isn’t, but sadly that is the kind of crowd a car like this attracts.